FINNEY'S 5: Boldest predictions for the NFL Draft
The NFL Draft begins Thursday and for some reason people care about a thing that wasn't able to detect Tom Brady or Brock Purdy as valuable assets.
When the first pick of the 2025 draft is made, white smoke will drift out of the roof of Lambeau Field, confusing Catholics everywhere.
Tennessee Titans’ general manager has a mini stroke when calling in the team’s pick and accidentally drafts Caitlin Clark; Titans home and road games immediately sell out.
New York Jets use their first-round pick on a gas station fish sandwich.
Despite having no role in the draft nor any physical activity required, Cowboys’ quarterback Dak Prescott suffers a season-ending injury in the second round.
ESPN anaylist Mel Kiper junior breaks down into wheezing sobs midway through the third round and admits he’s been making his predictions with a Magic 8 Ball since 1984.
Finney’s 5 is an occasional humor column exclusive to paid subscribers of the Paragraph Stacker. It is not meant to be taken seriously, so if you did, knock it off. Laugh a little. It saves on the Pepto-Bismol costs.
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This is a great list, Daniel. Thanks for the laughs.