FINNEY’S 5: Greatest Alfreds of all time
Alfred Michael “Weird Al” Yankovic, master of the parody.
Alfred E. Neuman, “What, me worry?” mascot of Mad magazine.
Alfred Pennyworth, Batman’s butler.
Alfred Nobel, inventor of dynamite and founder of the Nobel Prizes.
Alfred Lord Tennyson, poet and writer of “Charge of the Light Brigade.”
Finney’s 5 is an occasional humor column by exiled newspaper columnist Daniel P. Finney. It is not meant to be taken seriously, so if you did, knock it off. Laugh a little. It saves on Pepto-Bismol costs.
FINNEY’S NIFTY 50 SPECIAL: The Paragraph Stacker’s chief typist, Daniel P. Finney, turns 50 in June. Celebrate by becoming a paid subscriber at a 50% discount for your first year.