FINNEY’S 5: Highly effective revenge tactics
When in doubt, choose mild, consistent inconvenience.
Spread rumors on social media that their favorite band broke up.
When their favorite team is playing at home, shout, “Go visitors!”
Whenever they speak to you, regardless of what they say, reply, “Yep!!!”
Use their email and phone number to sign up for newsletters from whichever political party they hate.
If they’re presenting in a meeting, hijack the Bluetooth speaker and play Slipknot every time they try to speak.
FINNEY’S 5 is an occasional humor column by exiled newspaperman Daniel P. Finney that is not meant to be taken seriously. If you did, stop it. Sine sale, gravis nimis.