FINNEY'S 5: How teachers are preparing for upcoming school year
Getting one more good cry in with their psychologist before professional development days.
Practice saying back-to-school cliches without grinding teeth to dust. Examples include: “How was my summer? Too short!” and “I love icebreakers. They are so fun and you really get to know your coworkers better — which everyone desires with all their heart.”
Buying the biggest bottle of ibuprofen in the highest dosage legally sold in the United States, which should get them through Labor Day.
Putting up sheets of chart paper covered in bright sticky notes in spots around the house to practice their “gallery walk,” and pretend there are profound and revelatory things written on each note.
Using ChatGPT to find alternatives to the swear words they used freely for the last three months.
Finney’s 5 is an occasional humor column exclusive to paid subscribers of the Paragraph Stacker. It is not meant to be taken seriously, so if you did, knock it off. Laugh a little. It saves on the Pepto-Bismol costs.
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