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Finney's 5

FINNEY’S 5: New product slogans for the new America

Daniel P. Finney's avatar
Daniel P. Finney
Sep 23, 2025
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  1. RC Cola: When your family has just enough money to avoid buying the store brand, but not enough to buy something that tastes good.

  2. Apple: Every new iPhone washed in unicorn tears.

  3. Science: It only matters when it supports your preconceived notion of the truth.

  4. United States of America: It’s not as good as you remember, and it’s worse than that now.

  5. Arby’s:…

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