FINNEY’S 5: Petty things I would do if I were Batman
Send a cease-and-desist letter to Warner Brothers to prevent 1997’s “Batman and Robin” from ever being shown again.
Report Catwoman as a stray and have her trapped by Gotham City Animal Control.
Douse Aquaman with Shark Repellent Bat Spray.
Step 1: Replace Clark Kent’s glasses with kryptonite frames.
Step 2: Billionaire playboy Bruce Wayne seduces Lois Lane.
Finney’s 5 is an occasional humor column exclusive to paid subscribers of the Paragraph Stacker. It is not meant to be taken seriously, so if you did, knock it off. Laugh a little. It saves on the Pepto-Bismol costs.
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