FINNEY’S 5: Reasons why Pepsi slipped to fourth in soft drink market share

Industry mag Beverage Digest reports Pepsi trails Coke, Dr Pepper, and Sprite.

Actual photo of Pepsi upon learning the news it was now fourth in market share behind Coke, Dr Pepper, and Sprite. Nah, just kidding. It’s an AI cartoon generated by prompts written by the author.

1. Pepsi stayed all night partying at the frat house while Dr Pepper hit the books and got a PhD.

2. Sprite has been plotting revenge for more than 30 years after that Crystal Pepsi experiment back in 1993.