Alliance insurance does not cover Wampa attacks.
It’s never OK to tell the deck officer, “I’ll see you in hell.”
Gutting a dead tauntaun with a lightsaber and shoving your unconscious friend inside takes an office prank too far.
Lando Calrissian betrayed Han Solo, Princess Leia, and Chewbacca on Bespin, leading to their capture and torture by the Empire. Yet he’s hired by the Alliance and immediately promoted to general? Clear DEI hire.
Alliance high command made up of three or four critical people who are always off on side quests while the rest of the rebels do all the work and get none of the credit.
Finney’s 5 is an occasional humor column exclusive to paid subscribers of the Paragraph Stacker. It is not meant to be taken seriously, so if you did, knock it off. Laugh a little. It saves on the Pepto-Bismol costs.
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