FINNEY’S 5: Shockingly personal messages in Chinese fortune cookies
The cookie knows what you did.
Lucky numbers exactly match your Social Security number.
No fortune, just a photo of you leaving your apartment — clearly taken through a sniper scope.
You owe $41,476 in back state taxes, yet you can afford to eat here?
Sheila from homeroom? Never interested. It’s been 33 years. Let it go.
Always took a penny. Never left one. Jerk.
