FINNEY’S 5: Strange questions about ‘Stranger Things’
No. 6: If Eleven fell in love with Seven, would that make them 7-11?
If it’s Opposite Day in the Upside Down, does that mean it’s just a regular day?
If these kids are supposed to be Gen X, how come I haven’t seen one of them drink out of a hose?
Why haven’t they tried killing the Demogorgons with the most powerful weapon known to every 1980s kid — Pop Rocks and Coke?
Is Vecna secretly the love child of Groot and Freddy Krueger?
It’s 10 p.m. Do you know which dimension your children are in?
FINNEY’S 5 is an occasional humor column by exiled newspaperman Daniel P. Finney that is not meant to be taken seriously. If you did, stop it. Sine sale, gravis nimis.