FINNEY’S 5: Surprisingly common reactions to gas prices
Colonoscopy prep was more fun than this.
“How come we keep invading these oil-rich countries but never take the oil?”
“Looks like it’s back to huffing model airplane glue.”
“This is why my retirement portfolio is heavy on lottery tickets.”
“This is a hell of a time to be a pyromaniac.”
“On the plus side, I’m starting to enjoy the taste of siphoned gasoline more than Busch Light.”
FINNEY’S 5 is an occasional humor column by exiled newspaperman Daniel P. Finney that is not meant to be taken seriously. If you did, stop it. Sine sale, gravis nimis.