FINNEY’S 5: Teacher goals for spring break
Reintroduce themselves to their spouses and children.
Conduct peer-reviewed research on which side of the pillow is cooler.
Use the restroom whenever they want.
Explore research-supported techniques for writing DoorDash orders.
Continue secret practice of diversity, equity, and inclusion by intentionally looking for underrepresented locations to nap.
Finney’s 5 is an occasional humor column exclusive to paid subscribers of the Paragraph Stacker. It is not meant to be taken seriously, so if you did, knock it off. Laugh a little. It saves on the Pepto-Bismol costs.
Loved the last one! Well done.