FINNEY’S 5: Terrible ideas for Super Bowl Sunday snacks
Somewhere, a crockpot is being used for evil.
1. 2-minute drill wings — There’s no way anyone’s plumbing is strong enough to handle the gastric emergencies brought on by Frank’s Red Hot Quark-Gluon Hot Sauce.
2. A Seahawks-themed dish made with actual seahawks — because not only does it taste terrible, you face up to a year in prison and a $100,000 fine.
3. Any recipe from Robert Kraft’s Florida Spa Cookbook — because you can’t afford his lawyers.
4. General rule: No foods should match the radioactive action green Nike slaps on the Seahawks’ uniforms and shoes.
5. Don’t be the guy who gets custom-colored M&Ms to match his favorite team — they’re just chocolate, Dave. They all taste the same.
FINNEY’S 5 is an occasional humor column by exiled newspaperman Daniel P. Finney that is not meant to be taken seriously. If you did, stop it. Sine sale, gravis nimis.




"They're just chocolate, Dave." lol