Listen, bud, I’ve got radioactive blood.
Despite decades of writing in AP Style, I cannot stop using the Oxford comma.
Haunted by a recurring nightmare of a gorilla kidnapping my girlfriend, climbing to the top of a construction site, and throwing flaming whiskey barrels at me.
Overwhelming urge to defend the artistic and entertainment merits of the 1985 Starship album “Knee Deep in the Hoopla.”
Whenever I become agitated or angry, a startling metamorphosis occurs … I become a creature driven by rage … wait, wait. That’s not a side effect. That’s just life as a public school teacher.
FINNEY’S 5 is an occasional humor column by exiled newspaperman Daniel P. Finney that is not meant to be taken seriously. If you did, stop it. Sine sale, gravis nimis.
6. Cured me of the desire to attend a class reunion ever again and any residual Catholic guilt about not going.