Chiropractor appointment card.
Expired Subway coupons.
7-foot long receipt from CVS.
“Have You Heard The Good News.” pamphlet.
Bottle of Nutgenix Total T and a small bag of catnip.
Finney’s 5 is an occasional humor column exclusive to paid subscribers of the Paragraph Stacker. It is not meant to be taken seriously, so if you did, knock it off. Laugh a little. It saves on the Pepto-Bismol costs.
May the 4th Be With You Special: No, I am the substack you want to subscribe to. Search your feelings, you know it to be true. Join me, and we shall rule together as reader and paid subscriber. Take 20% off for life.
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