FINNEY’S 5: Ways to tell people your age with out saying the number

1. Gettysburg Address: Two score and 10 years ago.

2. Binary code: 00110101 00110000

3. Roman numeral: L

4. Monetary: Price of a roll of pennies.

5. Cultural: As old as “Jaws.”

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Finney’s 5 is an occasional humor column by exiled newspaper columnist Daniel P. Finney. It is not meant to be taken seriously, so if you did, knock it off. Laugh a little. It saves on Pepto-Bismol costs.

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FINNEY’S NIFTY 50 SPECIAL: The Paragraph Stacker’s chief typist, Daniel P. Finney, turns 50 in June. Celebrate by becoming a paid subscriber at a 50% discount for your first year.