Buy more companies to add an “X” to the name.
Order the most expensive Subway sandwich on the menu and not even bother to cash in his discount stamps.
Scrub the internet of videos showing the Cybertruck failing at truck things and being rescued by real trucks.
The same thing every rich person does when they get richer: Randomly fire people in the name of “efficiency.”
Build a massive money bin filled with gold coins and swim in it; then post a picture on X, tagging Scrooge McDuck with the caption, “Go f— yourself!”.
FINNEY’S 5 is an occasional humor column by exiled newspaperman Daniel P. Finney that is not meant to be taken seriously. If you did, stop it. Sine sale, gravis nimis.